Today’s article is a repost from March, 2011. These just crack me up.

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Thanks to Steve, the father of a WriteAtHome student, for the following:

A paraprosdokian (from the Greek meaning “beyond expectation”‘) is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Here are a few good ones…..

• The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list. 

• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 

• If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong. (Steve Tyler said this to Randy on American Idol this week.)

• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

• Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

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• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 

• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. 

• I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

• Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, “In case of emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR.”

• I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 

• A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. 

• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

• There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away. 

• I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

• To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 

• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

• Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

Steve got these from Wikipedia and from The Blue Book Blog.

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