The Simple Pleasures of Spam
Spammers love blogs. They leave comments by the millions, hoping that curious and naive blog-surfers will click a link to see who is responsible for the clever and encouraging note, only to end up on some sleazy marketing page.
I find it hard to believe that spam even works anymore. Most of us are savvy enough to spot spam a mile away, right? And even if we click in some moment of mental lapse, would anyone actually give their credit card information to some spammy watch or skin care product retailer? I think the real suckers are the companies investing time and money into this kind of brainless scheme.
I have a spam blocker on this blog that weeds out these phony comments and sticks them in a folder to await deletion. I look through it every now and then to make sure only actual spam is being redirected. But, I must admit, I also get a kick out reading them.
I assume that the vast majority of blog spammers in the world are not native English speakers. I am equally certain that none of them were ever WriteAtHome students! Their command of the language is so bad it’s amusing. And in the spirit of amusement, I share with you below some of my favorite spam passages from recent days.
Notice that the strategy is to enthusiastically commend the blogger for his excellence without mentioning anything specific. That way, their dopey comments can work for any post and appeal to the vanity of any blogger:
I adore numerous of the articles which have been written!
After study a few of the blog posts on your website now, and I truly like your way of blogging.
Simply, admirable what you have done here. It is pleasing to look you express from the heart and your clarity on this significant content can be easily looked.
I have been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. Its pretty worth enough for me.
Hello to the one who knock this off this! Great work!
I can see that you are putting a lots of efforts into your blog.
And my favorite:
Definitely believe that which you stated. Your favorite reason appeared to be on the internet the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get annoyed while people consider worries that they plainly do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal.
If only real people actually felt this way about my blog!
There’s one opposite side about One to One Gulfcoast which enables Place and Weiner pleased with what they certainly. Non-profits really are a feel-good business, says Place, so whenever we perform a campaign that raises money for any worthy cause it’s better feeling than simply your average print job.
Office Supplies http://printing-in-china.net/office-supplies.html
Brian,
Great laughs here! For all you SPAM loving folks, there is the SPAM museum here in MN. You should check it out while you’re here for MACHE. I think it’s about an hour or so south of the Twin Cities!
Anita
Hey Brian!
Loved the post. The SPAM can with the red circle and slash was great!
Thought I’d share some positive Spam with you.
Did you know there is a restaurant (dinner club) in Anchorage, AK that revolves around SPAM – as a menu staple and source of comedy? They even have a cookbook featuring Spam.
Speaking of other good kinds of Spam, have you seen SPAMALOT! ? It is a Monty Python musical featuring intertwining their “Holy Grail” movie and gags from their television show.
Looking forward to reading more from you!
I am shocked that your comment made it through the spam blocker, Alan. If you are ever in need of work, you’d make a good spam writer.
I am Job! You be very smart,to catch, so good, those bad guys! Why are more not as smart?